


The Snake, the Lily, and the Wolf

by Orangeflowerpetals



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Severus, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hanahaki will take an unusually long time to work, Light Angst, Multi, Mutual Pining, Romantic Fluff, Snupin will be the end product, also bullying, both Sev and Rem are either Bi or Pan, flirting Remus, one sided pining, thanks to the Marauders, the one sided is for Snevans though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-06-27 03:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangeflowerpetals/pseuds/Orangeflowerpetals
Summary: And then, just like that, it stopped. And the only proof of what happened was a pure white flower petal.A werewolf forges a friendship with a supposedly evil Snake and a flower is worried for them both.(Or Remus and Severus both get Hanahaki, Potter and co are bastards, and Lily is worried for her two friends.)





	1. The Beginning

**Chapter one: The Beginning**

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, nor have any ownership of the Harry Potter Franchise. Also, this chapter contains a nod to a Honeyworks character. I don't own that either.**

_"This is the story of how I died."_

_"Don't worry, he means it figuratively."_

_"Do I, Rem?"_

_"Yes Sev, you do."_

_"Ah, good morning guys!"_

_"Good morning Lil's."_

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Telling a story."_

_"Attempting to at least."_

_"Watch out!"_

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah... "_

_"Sev will you carry on with the story as I help Lil's clean up the spilt orange juice?"_

_"Fine. So I guess we begin..."_

**One summer ago**

"Good afternoon, class! Now, those of you who have been keeping up with your studies should be soon able to cast a Patronus!"

Remus groaned inwardly at Professor Akechi's words. It was almost the end of the unit, and so far, he had only been able to create a small blue wisp.

Sure Prongs and Padfoot had been able to fully cast theirs- a stag and dog respectively. Wormtail was the only one bedside's him who can't.

He didn't know why. Most of it was thinking of a single happy memory, and he had plenty of those. So why was it so difficult?

He watched as their DADA Professor started eating a lolly, seeming just as bored as himself.

But a few seconds later, he saw two does dance in mid-air before his eyes. Surprised and a little jealous, he looked toward the casters.

"Now Lily, you don't need to cast the spell twice."

This had been Prongs.

Lily looked puzzled. "But I didn't. I didn't, did I Sev?"

Remus risked a glance at her best friend, the Slytherin sitting beside her. He could see Snape doing his best to remain stone-faced, but he was really only drawing attention to himself.

And then Remus understood. Snape had cast it. Snape had been able to cast a Patronus despite all the stuff his friends put him through. He didn't know why he was so happy to know this, or why he even cared. But he was proud.

And with this happiness, he felt more powerful, more confident, and he felt as if he could cast the spell. So he did. "Expecto Patronum!"

And for the first time ever, he saw his Patronus. And it wasn't what he thought it would be.

But then he realized.

The memory that cast it wasn't of him hanging out with his friends; it wasn't finally going to Hogwarts. It was just now and it wasn't even his memory.

And then he realized even more. Severus wasn't just some "evil Slytherin" he was forbidden from interacting with, or the bullied victim Remus saw who still tried to fight till the end. He was...

And then it happened.

Pain engulfed Remus and he bent over his desk, retching. His friends crowded around him worriedly, asking questions he couldn't answer. Because he couldn't stop coughing. His lungs were on fire and his heart racing.

And then, just like that, it stopped. And the only proof of what happened was a pure white flower petal.

He could hear some people gasp around him but he couldn't see. Professor Akechi let his friends take him to the hospital wing.

He pulled away from them once they were out into the hall, taking a step back. "Guys, I'm fine!"

"Are you sure, Mate?"

Remus had been able to convince them to go to the library instead. And that's when they found it. And then he knew for certain.

During that following summer, he only continued to get worse and Prongs kept begging him to take the potion.

The potion.

The potion that would cure him. But it could also possibly erase his memories of the person he loved. And erase his ability to love, forever.

So obviously he refused to take it, coughing up petals and feeling awful.

_This was just the beginning._

It was the beginning of Snape's Fifth year and everything was going smoothly.

_As smooth as it can when everyone hates you, anyway._

"Hey, Sev!"

Severus smiled softly as his best and only friend passed by him on her way to class.

_Everyone except Lily._

As soon as she turned a corner, a coughing fit overcame him and he leaned against the cold stone wall for support. A few people turned to watch but most ignored the Slytherin as he wheezed, his lungs and throat growing sore for a few minutes before a stinging sensation crawled up his throat, and then-. He finally opened his eyes, gasping slightly for breath.

A single yellow flower petal drifted towards the ground. He hastily snatched it before anyone saw.

_I'll go to the library after class._

He thought.

_I don't know what the hell just happened, but it must be some sort of prank._

The next class Severus had was History of Magic with the Ravenclaws.

As soon as he got in, he quickly headed for his seat, getting his second-hand books out and setting up his inkpot and quill. Though this was merely for show, as even he couldn't possibly focus in this class.

Especially not after he just coughed up a flower petal.

_Why?_

It was, to say the least, peculiar.

_Maybe it's a prank._

He thought.

_Yes, a prank! That must be it. Another prank intended to hurt and humiliate me._

Later on, Severus coughed up another petal, in the Courtyard this time.

_Why does it hurt so bloody much?_

"Are you okay?"

Even with all the pain he felt inside his chest, he tensed up, whipping out his wand only to point it at two boys, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin.

_Second-Years._

He didn't know what they were trying to do, but he wasn't going to fall for this.

He recognized the Slytherin from his own house. Duncan Ashe, the idiot who kept asking to copy his homework all bloody last year.

He glanced at Ashe, before looking at the Gryffindor. Severus didn't know him but knew OF him. Jacob Miles, the kid who was obsessed with finding these Cursed vaults or whatever. Frankly, he didn't care.

"Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" Miles asked annoyingly.

"I'm fine, thank you very much." Without glancing back at the two, he walked away, not wanting to walk into whatever prank or trap they've set. That was the only reason most people pretended to care about him, after all.

Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to go to the library until supper time.

He rushed there without eating, wanting to find the counter spell way more than having dinner.

But as he reached his destination, he sensed danger and quickly turned around, hitting his target with a spell.

"Oof!"

He narrowed his eyes when he saw the Marauders approach him. Most of the marauders anyway. The werewolf wasn't among them.

Potter quickly recovered from the spell. "Hey Snivellus," he smirked.

Severus raised his wand again.

"I heard that you coughed up a flower petal."

"None of your business Potter!"

"Ah, but why aren't you in the hospital wing? Surely you know that this disease will eventually kill you," he smirked again, backing Severus into the corner, blocking all of his curses. Severus held his wand shakily.

"You don't know anything," he spat.

"I know that you've gotten Hanahaki," Potter laughed cruelly. "Quite embarrassing really. How would you feel if I told everyone about your predicament? Everyone already hates you, to know that the slimy snake developed feeling for one of them!"

"Whatever are you on about Potter?"

Snape fell to the ground as Potter kicked him hard, a raw pain spreading throughout his body. He stubbornly struggled to not show any of the pain he felt.

Potter leaned in close. "Evans is mine, got that Snively? You don't stand a chance."

Before he could register any of the words Potter had said, the group had disappeared.

Gasping, a jolt of pain pulsed in his stomach as he took in air, his lungs on fire.

Then Lily appeared, her dark red hair glowing beautifully against the torches. "Sev! What happened?"

"Oh!" he failed to stop the slight blush that went to his cheeks as Lily helped him up. "Studying!"

"Studying?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, er- I was studying the ground!" he nodded, hoping that Lily believed a word he said.

"Okay," she nodded, seeming to believe it, although her eyes suggested otherwise.

Still, he tried to act like he was fine. "Anyway, I was going to do some research. Do you want to perhaps... join me?"

"Of course," she smiled sweetly, and Severus's heart beat a mile a minute. "What are best friends for?"

And then his heart fell painfully.

They went in together and immediately went to an undisturbed spot.

"You can't tell anyone what I'm to share with you, please," Severus whispered anxiously.

"I promise," she reassured. "Is it for a potion you invented?"

He shook his head and shakily placed the red-spotted yellow flower petal in the middle of the table.

She looked at it concerned. "Is- is that blood?"

"Yes," he affirmed. "Believe it or not I coughed it up this morning."

Lily quickly drew her hand away disgusted and a bit worried. "Coughed it up?"

"I was hoping to figure out the reason why," he explained.

They poured over dozens of books. Books on plants, herbs, curses, and ghosts, until Severus started coughing again, ending up with another petal that was slightly smaller than the first.

"Sev, maybe we should go to the Hospital wing-."

"No! I'm fine, honestly Lily," he quickly reassured her.

They poured over more books with Lily glancing at him every few minutes.

"Wait- I think I found it!" she exclaimed happily before reading it.

**Next chapter will be published Sunday, the fourteenth of July.**


	2. Friends?

**Previously:**

_Pain engulfed Remus and he bent over the desk, retching. His friends crowded around him worriedly, asking questions he couldn't answer. Because he couldn't stop coughing. His lungs were on fire and his heart was racing._

_And then, just like that, it stopped. And the only proof of what happened was a pure white flower petal._

_"Sev! What happened?"_

_"I know that you've gotten Hanahaki," Potter laughed cruelly._

_Maybe it's a prank, Severus thought. Yes, a prank! That must be it. Another prank intended to hurt and humiliate me._

_"Anyway, I was going to do some research. Do you want to perhaps... join me?"_

_"Wait- I think I found it!" Lily exclaimed happily before reading it._

**Chapter 2: Friends?**

"Wait- I think I found it!" Lily exclaimed happily before reading it.

"You did?" Severus glanced up from his own book and leaned over the table. He silently cursed when he saw the name. "So Potter was correct."

"What?"

"Nothing," he lied.

"Oh no," Lily looked at it worriedly. "Look," she pointed to a passage.

_  
_

* _To become relieved of this disease, you must to have your feelings reciprocated by the person who gave you the disease, and for them to kiss you. The disease should last up to nine moons however, will vary depending on the sufferer. If the sufferer's feelings are not reciprocated, the sufferer will ultimately suffocate from the petals and expire._

* _If the sufferer falls out of love with the person who gave them Hanahaki, they will choke on their own blood and petals, which is fatal._
 _  
_

"But... but I can't have Hanahaki!" he blurted out.

"Why not?"

_I should tell her. Come on coward! What are you waiting for? Tell her already!_

He looked around frantically, looking for an exit, "Because- I'm not- I mean- there's no one-." his breathing was rapid and shallow, anxiety shaking him. He couldn't think. He needed to run.

And run he did. 

_Bloody coward._

"Sev!"

He couldn't sleep that night, and it wasn't because Mulciber tended to snore. 

_Hanahaki disease... so that's what this was. So that's it then. I'm going to die. Because the possibility of Lily loving me back is absolutely none._

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

_I wonder what it's like to die. Is it unpleasant? Quick?_

He tried to imagine what it would be like to be dead. No understanding. No concept of reality. No thought process whatsoever. It was hard to visualise. 

_But what's easier to picture is everyone's responses to my death. Because there would be none. Nobody's going to notice my death. Nobody's going to mind. Even Lily will forget about me in a few years._

_Lily... she was the one reason why I'm still alive. Yes, Potter might have pulled me away from werewolf- Lupin, but he was doing it for purely selfish reasons. Lily was the one reason I hadn't given up in the first place!_

_Although... At least when I die I won't have to see Father ever again. I won't be forced to spend time in Spinner's End; I won't have to see the Marauders ever again. Of course... They'll be celebrating my death, won't they?_

"Are you okay Sev?" Lily asked him a few days later. They were free from classes and were walking around the Black Lake.

"I'll be alright," he started. "I haven't coughed up any more petals; maybe it stopped on its own."

Lily helped him balance as he started hacking again, ending up with another yellow petal.

"This is absurd," he muttered.

"Maybe you should, you know..." she hoped Severus would understand as she blushed.

"What?"

"Well... didn't the chapter say that the Hanahaki was born from unrequited love?"

"It's probably just a well-executed prank," he muttered quickly.

"You know," she admitted thoughtfully. "I never thought you of all people would get Hanahaki."

"I didn't get it! Anyway, could we please not talk about this here?"

"Fine."

Then they walked for the rest of the time in awkward silence.

The next night, he was walking down to the Slytherin dorms when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey."

Snape drew his wand quickly, not knowing who it was. His eyes narrowed as the person who spoke came into view. "What do you want Lupin?"

Remus held his hands up as a sign for peace. "I'm not here to antagonize you."

"Could have tricked me."

"Prongs told me you had gotten Hanahaki."

Severus still had his wand in the air, untrustingly. "None of your business Lupin."

But still, Remus walked closer. "Is it true?" he whispered. "Do we both have the same disease?"

Severus watched, surprised as the Gryffindor stopped, hacking almost uncontrollably. Lupin's hand clutched his chest as a few petals came up, pure white and speckled with red.

"I-," he wiped the blood off of his lips with his cloak sleeve. "I have Hanahaki as well... and my feelings will never be returned."

All Severus could manage was an "Oh."

"So... now we have something in common," he held out his hand to the Slytherin. "Friends?"

This was all it took for Severus to narrow his eyes once again, the spell broken. "You think you can just allow your beloved companions to make my life a living hell, and expect me to forgive you?" His voice rose in anger. "Have you forgotten that I nearly got killed because of you?"

"I wasn't in on their plan. And my friends, they don't know what it's like to have the disease! We both don't have much time left. Please, Snape."

Lupin seemed to look at him almost pleadingly.

Severus's eye twitched, feeling guilty. He despised feeling guilty. "Fine, Lupin. But only because we're both dying."

"Thank you..."

Remus walked back to the Gryffindor towers smiling. Of course, this was after he had offered to walk Snape to his common room, which the Slytherin immediately declined.

Snape... had he really only known the boy for two years? He had seen Snape around before that, but it wasn't until he became a Marauder that he finally met him.

And of course, he had heard a good deal about his new friend from Lily, who was Snape's best friend.

Though, he knew he shouldn't want to have anything to do with Snape. He's a Slytherin after all. 

_Does that matter though? If it doesn't for Lily then... maybe it shouldn't for me either?_

According to his friends, he shouldn't want to get to know the Slytherin, shouldn't want to see him smile. He never did when Remus saw him.

But then again, he never got to see Snape, unless he was with his friends. 

_I bet it's nice though._

But with only a few months left to spare, he was going to do everything he could for him. He was going to get to know the boy who gave him his Hanahaki, and he was going to make him smile.

If it's the last thing he ever does.

The next morning, Severus sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily, because it was a weekend and they were allowed. He didn't think about what had happened last night, chalking it up to a bad dream.

And guess who turned up to ruin his delusions?

"Good morning, Snape, Lily."

Remus plopped himself onto the bench, sitting right. Bloody. Beside. Severus.

So it wasn't a bad dream. He had actually seen Lupin in the hall and had actually agreed to associate with him.

He mentally berated himself. How could he be so blind? Even if Lupin DID have Hanahaki, nobody would want to be friends with him.

He didn't know what to do. Should he confront Lupin on my suspicions? Keep an eye on him? Well, whatever happened, he was not going to fall for this trick.

"Good morning Remus."

Severus looked to Lily, a little jealous. "You're on a first-name basis with LUPIN?!" he angrily whispered.

Lily took a bite of her porridge before responding. "Of course, Sev. Remus is one of my friends."

"Relax Snape; we're not as close as you are."

Severus still glared at him, untrustingly. "And why are you sitting with us anyway?"

"Sev!"

Remus's heart shattered painfully.

_It's only day one,_ he reminded himself.

"Well, I thought I'd try to get to know one of my new friends!" _Smooth. Real smooth._

He stood up. "But as it seems I'm not welcome here-."

"Wait. We'd like it if you sat with us. Isn't that right, Sev?"

Severus didn't look at him, muttering into his toast instead.

Remus sat down again. "Lily wasn't the one who gave me my Hanahaki if that's what you're worried about."

Severus started choking on his breakfast. "That's not- I'm not worried-I."

They two watched Severus as he grew flustered, not being able to look at either of them.

Lily looked to Remus in wonder. "You have Hanahaki too?"

"Er- yes, unfortunately."

"Do you know who gave it to you?" Lily posed innocently.

Severus smirked as it was Remus's turn to be embarrassed.

"Yes, but I'd rather not say."

"That's just like Sev! He won't admit it either!"

Severus looked at her affronted, with increasing horror.

"Okay, let's talk about something else." Remus steered them onto a different topic. "So Severus, do you know what flower you're coughing up?"

Severus didn't answer so Lily did. "Their yellow, I think." she frowned. "In fact, they almost remind me of those wildflowers that always grew in the forest near our houses."

"Ah, interesting. Mine are white lilies."

Severus spat out his drink. Remus and Lily looked at him.

White lilies.

_Lily._

It was almost as if the last puzzle piece was fit in. He realized Lupin's plan.

"Hey, what's your favourite flower Sev?"

Once Severus regained his composure, he looked back at his toast. "I actually don't like flowers."

_Liar._

Later on that afternoon, Severus confronted Lupin in the courtyard.

"Oh, hey, Snape."

Severus drew out his wand, narrowing his eyes. "Tell me your plan Lupin."

That shocked Remus.

_Plan? What plan?_

"What are you talking about?"

"I knew there was a reason you asked to be my friend," he spat.

"What?"

"White lilies."

"W-?" Oh.

_OH. Does Snape think-?_

"You know what I think? I think it's a trick... did Potter put you up to this? Or maybe you wanted to get closer to Lily."

"I can't believe you! Did you ever stop to think maybe this actually isn't a trick?"

"What else could it be?"

"Prongs doesn't know. And I'm not using you to get closer to Lily!"

"Then why are you here?"

The Courtyard was silent for a couple of moments.

"I genuinely... want us to be friends."

"I- I..." Severus found himself unable to form an answer. Only Lily had said that to him.

"I promise I won't double-cross you. Do you trust me?"

He wanted to.

_If Lupin is telling the truth... But he's lying. But what if this time..._

Severus knew he didn't have much longer to live. Would he regret it if he let this be the end? Absolutely. Would he regret pursuing this? Definitely.

He sighed. "Don't double-cross me Lupin."

And even with those prickly words aimed at him, Remus smiled.

And then he coughed up another bloody petal.

"Okay," Remus laughed a few days later as they were tucked away in a tiny corner of the Library; studying. "Hey, Snape?"

"Yes, Lupin?"

"Call me Remus."

"What, why?" Severus was startled.

"We're friends now right? Call me Remus."

"Don't push your luck... Remus." Severus didn't know why, but he secretly liked the way the Gryffindor's name rolled off his tongue.

"Can I call you by your name too?"

He slowly nodded. "That would be acceptable."

"So... Severus," Remus leaned in close, causing Severus to lean back.

"Uh... Hello?"

He grinned. "It suits you."

**Next chapter: Tuesday the 16th of July.**


	3. Almost Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make a reference to one of my favourite songs, Seasonal Feathers, the Ham and Lucy version.
> 
> **Warning for one mention of Severus's family life in Cokeworth.**

"Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail, I call this meeting into session," Remus stood in front of his friends, who were sitting on the crimson red sofa in the Common Room.

"Yes Moony," Sirius sniggered.

Remus continued on. "So you may be aware that I have Hanahaki."

At the mention of their friend's illness, they all fell silent.

"Since I am going to die, I finally have the guts to say this," he spun around and glared at them. "I don't like how you're treating Severus."

"What? Come on Mate, you hate him as much as the rest of us."

This was James who spoke.

"I don't," he whispered softly before speaking up. "But that doesn't matter right now."

"And what do you want us to do?" Sirius crossed his arms.

"I would appreciate it if you stopped hexing, cursing, and hurting him in general. Just leave him be. He doesn't deserve this."

"Yes he bloody does," James narrowed his eyes. "Moony, you can't. You seriously can't be defending old Snivellus can you?"

"I am. Severus isn't half bad! I mean, sure he's a little awkward but without many friends, who wouldn't be!"

"Moony... Is it him? Do you love the greasy git?"

The question went unanswered, neither being denied nor confirmed.

"Fine."

Everyone turned to look at James.

James held up one of his hands in a pledge. "You're our friend Moony. I solemnly swear that none of us will play with old Snivelly while you're still breathing."

Sirius also held up his hand. "Since Prongs did it."

Since the other two boys had up their hands, Peter scrambled to do it as well.

"Thank you."

A few weeks later, Remus spied the Slytherin sitting alone beneath a tree cross-legged, seemingly looking at the autumn shades of orange, red, and yellow.

Remus sat down on the ground beside him, noticing him flinch a little at his presence but not running away. Severus's expression was unreadable. Remus noticed his obsidian eyes go glassy.

"What do you want Remus?"

"The prefects are supposed to set up the decorations for the Halloween feast."

"Have a good time then." His voice was dripping with bitter sarcasm.

Remus ignored the tone of the Slytherin's words. "I left to check up on you."

"Why?"

"I haven't seen you around all week. Is everything okay?"

"Don't pretend."

"What?"

"Don't pretend you actually care."

"I'm not pretending."

"Then why are you here?"

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Do you really believe no one cares?"

"I don't delude myself into believing lies. Why would they?"

"Lily cares about you. I care about you."

"You shouldn't."

More silence.

Remus noticed Severus anxiously pulling up the grass, and wondered how often he was outside. He never saw him sit outside alone before... And yet his appearance reminded him all too much of a plant being kept in the dark. Maybe...

Severus jumped as Remus scooted closer, casually putting his arm around him in an embrace.

He looked at Remus's face, which seemed flushed as he kept staring at the black lake.

Remus didn't dare to look Severus in the eye.

"But we do anyway."

Severus's breathing was shallow and he tensed up, not knowing what to do. Should he scoot in closer? Pull away? Run away? Hex him?

Remus's arm was comfy and warm. He was warm. Severus's heart fluttered rapidly.

The Slytherin decided that he didn't mind the feeling, it was even nice, and something he hadn't felt unless he was with Lily.

In the end, he just sat there, slowly relaxing, finally daring to breathe in the crisp air.

"Today's the anniversary of my mother's death. I guess I was just thinking-." 

_Way to ruin a moment, you absolute fool._

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was a few years ago anyway."

"How long ago?"

"The winter of our third year. The police thought she had killed herself, but I knew better." he gritted his teeth. "Father."

Remus didn't quite know what he should say. 

_Is this the reason why he's so bitter?_

"I shouldn't be telling you any of this. I'll get in trouble-."

"If you have things troubling your mind it's best to get them out."

"I guess since I'm going to die anyway, it doesn't matter if he gets to me first."

This time Remus tensed up. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. "Who's he?" He didn't want to believe the words that came tumbling out of Severus's mouth.

"Father. He's always hated me, along with everyone else in Cokeworth. Mother protected me from him or at least tried to."

"He didn't-," Remus swallowed thickly. "He didn't- lay a hand on you did he?" 

_How insensitive. Yes Moony, this is exactly what you should do._

Remus only needed the silence to answer his question. "Oh, gods!" He covered his mouth in horror.

"Lily was the first friend I ever had. But even she doesn't know about my parents."

"You know... If we're still alive by the time summer rolls around, you can stay with my family," Remus suggested. "I'm sure they'd be delighted to have a normal kid around."

He snorted. "If I was normal, people wouldn't hate me so much."

"I meant if I wasn't a monster."

Severus knew what Remus meant, but still... "You're not a monster."

He whispered quietly, not daring to look at the Gryffindor.

"Yeah. Just a werewolf."

Severus didn't know what came over him then. Or why he dared to utter such confident words. "No," he gazed at Remus's face. "You deserve better."

Remus's eyes shined, a lump forming in his throat at Severus's words. He felt a sense of gratitude, hope... and dare he say, love? "Thank you... and so do you."

Severus looked a bit confused at that.

"I should have stepped up for you long ago. I should have done more to control my friends-." Remus coughed again, turning away and removing his arm from around Severus as he did so, the top of a flower coming up. The disease was worsening. "I'm sorry it took me getting sick to find the courage."

Severus watched his friend as he looked down; twirling the pure white blood-red flower as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

The next two months went by in a whirl. Remus and Severus ended up spending a good amount of time together, learning much from and about each other. It turns out they had much in common, from their shared love of books to their quiet demeanour. Severus also did his best to hide the petals from Lily, managing to convince her that it was a prank that was now over.

He was also washing more because apparently once a week isn't normal. Growing up in a dirty, poverty-stricken part of Cokeworth he never really got the hang of personal hygiene. Until now.

Now, he knew his home life wasn't exactly normal, but he never thought much about it until he learned about Remus's.

At least his few remaining acne cleared up.

But one thing was peculiar. He found himself thinking about Lily less, not much less but it bothered him. I can't be- no. I'm in love with Lily; I'm in love with Lily...

And he was still in love with Lily.

But then why did the same feeling awaken whenever he was around the honey-haired Gryffindor? He tried to shelve those thoughts into the back of his mind deciding to ignore them.

One day, he was attempting to study with Remus. Lily was supposed to be there too but had declined last minute, having Prefect duties.

"Hey, Sev?"

"Call me that again and I'll hex you."

"That hurt," Remus whimpered into his book, putting on a show.

Severus snickered, and Remus couldn't help but gaze at him.

It still wasn't a genuine smile, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

I was thinking... do you have a bucket list?"

"A what?" Severus was flabbergasted.

"A bucket list. You know a list of things to do before you die."

"There aren't enough things to make up an entire list."

Now that truly hurt Remus. "Are you sure? Think of all the things you haven't done yet!"

Severus pretended to busy himself with his notes. "I just want to die so this wretched disease can be over with."

"So, how do you know they don't like you back?" Remus posed, trying not to think of the reality that Severus was going to die as well. His heart wrenched at the thought.

"I just... know. Lily only views me as her friend."

"I think you should tell her."

"Why? So I can get rejected?"

"Would you rather not know?"

"And what about you? Did you tell her?"

"Bold of you to assume it's a 'her'."

"It's a guy!?"

"One of my friends."

"Oh," Severus didn't lift his eyes off his paper, not liking the slight jealousy that curled up inside of him.

_Why?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, Sev's kind of dumb when it comes to human interaction.
> 
> **Updates will always skip one day from the date of publishing.**
> 
> **So next update: Thursday the 18.**


	4. The Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please excuse the shortness of the chapter, the next one is longer!**

**Chapter 4: The Confession**

This conversation haunted Severus for a few days.

_Would I be better off not knowing? I'm going to die anyway, right?_

During Charms class with the Gryffindor's in January, Severus had to excuse himself immediately and run to the closest bathroom as quickly as he could. Once he got inside, he painfully coughed up a whole flower. He now knew what type it was.

A wildflower.

Because of course, it was.

He had to take longer to catch his breath nowadays and he felt horrible.

He heard a shrill voice overhead.

_Of course._

Severus mentally slapped himself.

_Obviously, I had to not only ended up in the girl's toilets but Myrtle's toilets!_

"HELP!"

"Keep down," he begged the ghost.

"A SLYTHERIN!"

"Sev?"

A new person poised a question, saying his name in that beautiful voice he loved.

Severus turned to her, his voice welcoming, although he was caught off- guard. "L-Lily!" 

"You told me they stopped," she narrowed her almond green eyes.

"What-?"

"The petals. You're still sick aren't you?"

"I'm not-," he started before staring at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Okay, yes. I might have Hanahaki," he admitted softly. He cautiously stepped closer to her, his ragged breath filling the room.

Lily could see him tense up. "Who caused this?"

"It's not important."

"You could die, it is important!" she insisted.

His voice was quiet. "Maybe... maybe I don't mind."

"No! You can't give up on this!"

"What choice do I have? Even if I did confront her, no one could ever feel the same way about me..."

The next thing he knew, Severus was wrapped up in a hug, flinching at first, before returning it, making sure to not let his mask fall as his heart beat loudly outside his chest, warmth enveloping him. He couldn't help but breathe in the scent of her hair, the flowery scent reminding him of the days they had spent in the forest together when they first became friends. He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat.

"Don't say that!" she choked. "Don't ever say that about yourself!"

"Lily..."

"You're my best friend! I don't want you do die! Please..."

"Okay."

She pulled away slightly to see his unreadable expression. "Really?"

_For you._

He nodded."In that case, I need to tell you something." 

_What am I doing?_

"What is it, Sev?"

Anxiety gripped him tightly, and he suddenly found himself not being able to look into her eyes. "Lily... I," he swallowed the lump in his throat as it constricted. "I," he was surely going to lose his mind-. "I love you."

Defending silence. Probably the best reaction that could have happened.

"Wow..." Lily blinked. "I don't know what to say..."

His heart shattered broken and he knew, this was her rejection.

"You don't have to say anything, please Lily."

"I'm sorry. I still want us to be friends though. Can we?"

"Of course..." Although he was in pain he gave her a small smile. "But Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't make Madam Pomfrey know about my illness. They'll make me drink a potion and- I don't want to forget about you."

"I-... I Promise."

After hearing her rejection, Lily eventually wasn't as present in Severus's mind as she had once been. He was still in love with her although each day it became less. But he figured that apart of him would always love her.

And that meant that he was supposed to die.

Severus recounted what the book said.

* "If the sufferer falls out of love with the person who gave them the Hanahaki, they will choke on their own blood and petals, which is fatal."

But he still wasn't dead.

No, this now-empty space was being taken up again. And his bloody Hanahaki never disappeared.

Around February, all anyone could talk about was the next Hogsmeade outing. Everyone except Severus that is. He never went to the village, despite having his permission slip signed by his late mother.

After all, it was easier for Severus to be on his guard when the Marauders were away. And to avoid whatever prank or trap they've left for him. Yes, staying here was best. What he didn't expect was Remus to confront him on it, however.

Remus tried his best to appear calm and collected as he slid into the empty chair across from Severus's in the Library.

"So are you and Lily going to Hogsmeade?"

"Lily goes with her Gryffindor friends, and I stay here."

Why wasn't he surprised?

"And you're going with your friends, I presume?"

_Calm down, Remus, this is what you've been mentally preparing yourself for..._

"I-I was actually wondering i-if you would go with me."

Severus frowned. "Wouldn't you rather go with them?"

"And spend my time in Madam Rosmerta's crowded pub while Padfoot tries to get a date? When I would rather spend my time with you?" 

_I hope I'm not coming on too strong..._

Severus's face heated up but he didn't make any further self-damaging claims.

_Aha, so he's improving!_


	5. Frozen Breath, Hand in Hand, a Tiny Village at Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I had to make a reference to one of my favourite songs, Seasonal Feathers, the Ham and Lucy version.**

**Chapter 5: Frozen Breath, Hand in Hand, a Tiny Village at Night**

"Are you sure about this Moony?"

"You know who your date is right?"

"Shut up guys, it's not a date! And yes, I'm sure."

"You do know what day today is?"

"Of course I know today's date." Remus snapped at his friends. "It's-..."

His face drained itself of colour. _Damn. Today wasn't? Surely not? Not Valentine's Day?_

"Hello, Remus, happy Valentine's day!"

_So it was._

Lily rushed over to him excitedly, handing him a card.

Remus was trying not to freak out. "Is today really Valentines Day?"

"Yes! Is everything okay?"

"I asked them out... the person who I got Hanahaki for..."

"Congratulations?"

"You don't think they'll think it's an actual date do you?"

Lily looked Confused. "It isn't?"

"I had no idea when I asked them out! Now they'll think I like them!"

"Um... Don't you?"

"I don't want them knowing it!"

"But if they agreed, then they must like you too! You can be cured!"

"They don't..." he removed his hands, raw bitterness creating a lump in his throat and a pain in his heart. "They're in love with someone else..."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed."

"Well, have a good time anyway!"

As soon as he came into the Great Hall, he spotted Severus. _The fact that he's here shows that he at least trusts me to not ditch him._

He had thought about giving Severus flowers but ultimately decided against it, and Severus claimed he claimed he doesn't like flowers anyway.

_But if he didn't like flowers,_

Remus smiled wryly, _what would I be coughing up?_

"Good morning Sev!" Over the last two months, Remus was finally allowed to call Severus by his nickname. And he used it every chance he got.

Severus shot up clearly surprised, before walking towards him tentatively as if he were made of glass.

"You're two minutes early."

"You're not complaining?"

"No. Come on, we should get going..."

Sev was wearing a thick green jumper, with some dress trousers and his school shoes.

The next sentence fell out of Remus's mouth before he could stop it.

"You look nice by the way."

Severus turned around, clearly surprised.

Remus honestly didn't know who was redder, Sev or him. _Time to save yourself Moony..._

He scratched the back of his neck, his eyes not focusing on their target. _Way to go Moony. Yes, act shy. Act like you totally meant that compliment._

"I didn't mean- well, yeah..."

_Does- does Rem like me? Impossible... is it? But today is Valentines Day... did Rem choose today on purpose? I'm getting too hopeful..._

Even so, Severus came up to him and did something that made Remus shocked.

He cautiously and tentatively reached out his hand; grabbing Remus's lightly, holding it within his own. The butterflies threatened to make him nauseous.

Remus blushed, his eyes shining. _Despite his cold appearance, Sev is warm._

Before things could get more awkward, they quickly left, not letting go of each other's hands as they did so.

The two boys trudged along the path, white sheets of snow on both sides of them extending out as far as they could see. It was quiet.

Almost too quiet, Remus thought wistfully. On a normal outing to Hogsmeade, he would be surrounded by his friends, laughing and chatting.

And now... now he had only Sev by his side, gazing into the distance as though lost in thought.

Even with his green scarf, both Sev's cheeks and nose were red with the cold. He shivered lightly, leaning into his friend's light grey trench coat a little bit.

And now Remus realized that aside from the scarf, Severus hadn't put on a coat on over his clothes. He stopped walking, looking at the Slytherin.

"Are you okay? It's cold outside! Where's your coat?"

Severus's reply was whispered. "Back in Cokeworth."

"Why didn't you take it with you?"

"It was ancient, it was falling apart anyway."

"And you didn't replace it?"

And again, silence answered his question. Severus couldn't replace it.

And now Remus realized his mistake.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-..."

"No need to apologize. Let's just... keep going." Severus walked ahead.

"Wait! At least... Have my coat!"

Severus looked at him in horror, repeatedly shaking his head. "I can't."

"Please, you look like you need it..."

He knew Severus couldn't argue with that logic. Taking off his coat, he walked up behind Severus and gently helped his friend into it.

"I-I don't need your help!"

But even with that, he could have sworn Sev muttered a thank you under his breath.

They continued walking to Hogsmeade.

But this time, their hands remained firmly by their sides.

For the rest of the day, Remus showed Severus around the village, and they visited many shops. They had opted to not go into any of the pubs so they won't run into Remus's friends. But even so, Remus noticed that Severus was tense and on-guard, as if any moment, someone could attack him.

He sighed. He knew why Severus was like this. Between his friends and Sev's father, who could blame him?

And along with that logic, it was partly his fault. Of course, he already knew this. The guilt that was growing alongside the petals was enough to tell.

Sooner than later, they arrived at the Hogsmeade sweet shop.

"Hey look! Do you want a chocolate frog?"

"I can't."

"Do you not like sweets?"

"I don't have any money."

"Then let me buy you one. Or anything in this store. My treat."

"I can't accept this-."

Remus then did something he didn't do before. He rushed over to the bitter Slytherin and hugged him, a bit awkwardly but still.

His face heated up, and he knew Sev's was probably the same.

Severus froze up- before a miracle happened.

Sev cautiously- and lightly- so lightly- Remus was not made out of china damnit- hugged him back, lightly wrapping his rather thin arms around Remus's torso- he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat.

This made Remus wonder when was the last time Severus had been hugged. _Was it the last time he saw his mother? Did Lily even hug him? If so why was Severus acting like I would disappear? Like if he touched me, I would float away?_

Those thoughts made him hug the Slytherin tighter. "Your safe now, you know that? I got them to stop hurting you, and you won't have to go back to Cokeworth if you don't want to." Remus doubted he would want to spend the summer with his father.

"And intrude on your family?"

"You wouldn't be. If it's dangerous with your father then let me take you somewhere safe."

Then they both broke apart, gagging and coughing up more flowers. Unlike when it first started, the number had increased and they coughed up anyway between two to five flowers.

It was horrible.

After the pain had more or less subsided, Severus hastily threw his away. He had trained himself not to look at them, even the idea made him slightly nauseous.

Severus knew he didn't have much time left. He should be already dead. How much longer? A week? Three weeks? Maybe a month or two if he was lucky.

Remus should technically be dead by now. His Hanahaki had started when? Nine months ago? _How am I still alive? And functioning to boot? Maybe it's because I haven't given up yet. Maybe it's because there are still things for me to do._

In the end, Severus, although begrudgingly, let Remus by him some sweets.

Things started going smoothly again until the middle of their 'date'.

Remus was holding Sev's hand again, enjoying the closeness and warmth it brought. And love. He wondered briefly if Sev could feel his love too. If he did, he didn't say anything.

Suddenly Sev stopped walking, looking downcast. "Rem... did- did you know about today's date when you asked me..."

Now it was Remus's turn to freeze. "Well- actually... um..."

Severus's expression was one of resigned bitterness although he tried to not show it. "Of course you didn't. Anyway, there should be a new bookstore somewhere..."

Remus's heart sunk a little at his claim. His, _'there's no way anyone could love me' claim._

Even if it does seem he wished it was for that reason... his eyes widened. _Does Sev like me too? No way, he's in love with Lily..._

"Wait! I- um..." he took a breath. He was sorted into Gryffindor for a reason, after all. Taking a step closer, his heart skipped a beat. "Um- before we go..." 

"Hm?"

The next things happened so fast, he wasn't sure if he could process it.

Out of nowhere, a snowball flew towards them and hit Severus on the side of his face.

Severus quickly let go of his hand, drawing his wand, and tensing up again.

Remus looked around, until he saw a shift of something to his right, heading towards the outskirts of the village. Narrowing his eyes, he ran after it.

"Wait right here!"

He ran until his vision was blurry and his lungs were on fire. Catching his breath for a minute, he looked around the sparkling fields of snow. "Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail? I know it was you."

A muffled voice sounded. "Ah!"

He heard a frantic commotion near them and a scrambling. Cautiously, he headed toward the noises, before reaching out blindly, and grabbing a silvery transparent cloth, pulling it away.

"Moony!"

Padfoot gave Wormtail a look of annoyance.

Feelings of hate and betrayal bubbled under Remus's skin. "You promised!"

"Chill out Mate, it was just a snowball."

"And did you see his reaction? Can't Sev go anywhere without someone attacking him?"

"We didn't attack him."

"Then explain the snowball..."

"Nothing you can prove."

"TELL ME!"

Sirius was, to say the least, surprised. His boring, level-headed friend was never one to be angry.

"Prongs wanted us to distract you while he talked to Snively. Happy?"

Remus's face drained of colour at his words. I'll be back for you."

He ran again, rushing as quickly as he could back to the boy he loved.

_Nothing good can come out of Prongs and Sev in the same room..._

He looked at the scene before him in horror.

**About Five minutes ago**

"Wait right here!"

Severus saw Remus undoubtfully chasing their attacker. He almost protested but remembered that he had to appear strong...

"Snivellus!"

He froze, whipping around in the direction of the voice. He pointed his wand at the Gryffindor in front of him.

"Potter," he spat.

"Lets dual."

Severus looked at Potter with pure loathing. "Never."

"When I win, you'll never talk to Lily ever again. And if you win," he hesitated. "I'll back off, and Lily will be yours."

This infuriated Severus. Potter just equated Lily to a cheap prize won at a carnival or fair. And no one had any right to do that.

"Do you accept?"

"No!"

"Coward are you? Oh well..."

Potter roughly seized Severus's shoulder's, slamming him into the ground.

Severus gasped as a strong pain arose in his chest. "L- L," he tried to cast a spell.

"Your notebook gave me some great ideas... Lanlock!"

With horror, Severus's tongue flew to the top of his mouth.

"I guess it doesn't matter if you fight. I won't allow someone like you to have her! A-A murderer! Stealing Moony away from us- you're killing him. And I am NOT going to let his killer live!" Potter looked darkly down at him, his wand at Severus's throat. "Sep-! "

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus marching towards them. Dread and horror came over him, the horror of being caught defenceless; he never wanted to appear powerless and weak.

And more importantly, the dread of what Potter was going to do to Rem. _Surely anyone who associated with me with the exception of Lily was to be treated in just the same way?_

Severus struggled as the jinx wore off, but as soon as he was up, he held his wand out again. "Bombarda!"

Potter was knocked off his feet, his wand ending up some feet away. Exactly like what had been done to him on more than one occasion.

"That's quite an unfair accusation, Potter."

But although Potter contributed to most of his hatred, it wasn't all of it. No. That dark feeling of betrayal bubbled up, engulfing him. _Rem promised. He had promised that I would be safe. And it was a lie. Of course, it was._

_And... I believed it._

Severus was seething when Remus rushed over to the Slytherin. "Sev!"

Severus whipped his head towards the Gryffindor and gave a look of pain, anger, hatred, and worse... betrayal. Remus felt his heart break.

"I should have known."

"I didn't-."

"I should have known better than to trust you."

Remus made to hold his hand but it was brushed away. "Sev-."

"Don't toy with my heart, Lupin," Severus made a dismissive signal as he walked away.

But before he did, he glanced back. "Oh and don't call me Sev. That's reserved for friends only."

And Remus's heart shattered even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potter was going to use the Sectumsempra curse on him... 
> 
> Sorry for the late update!


	6. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Combining two chapters into one because why not? This chapter was overdue and I apologize.

**Chapter 6: The Aftermath**

Two whole days past without them saying anything.

Two whole days of coughing up bloody flowers and making sure no one noticed.

Two whole days of avoiding eye contact, and living in relative loneliness.

It was torture.

Remus knew he should apologize. Or something. He would do anything to get Sev back. _Is that being selfish?_

He hated this. He hated having to resist the urge to call out to him in class or in the hallway. He hated not being to sit by him during meals, and not being able to low-key flirt with him.

And that hatred made itself known as a physical ache in his heart.

Remus missed him. He couldn't describe how much.

And what did he have now? A group of friends that even went as far as going against his wishes?

What was worse was that he couldn't dump them. This was the best way to keep them in check and make sure that they don't hurt Severus. And if he did-.

Who knows what they would do.

Severus wasn't fairing any better.

_How blind could I have been? He's a Marauder; I should have known he would betray me!_

_How could I have let my guard down and tell him my darkest secret? Knowing my luck they'll probably blackmail me with it._

_And how could I- I- how could I even remotely like him?!_

"Are you doing okay?"

"I'm doing fine, Lily."

"I think you're only supposed to add five valerian roots."

"Huh!? Wha-?" Severus snapped out of his daze, looking down at his potion in horror. "Merlin!"

Remus watched the scene happen from across the room. "Sev, watch out!"

Without a second thought, Severus pushed Lily out of the way, the cauldron exploding and the messed up potion flying everywhere.

"Are you alright?"

Lily stood up and helped Severus up as well. "I'm fine, Sev."

Slughorn came up to them with a disapproving expression. "Mr, Snape, I'm disappointed at you. Ten points from Slytherin." 

"I'll tell you later, okay?"

Lily nodded.

After they had eaten lunch, Severus and Lily decided to take a walk around the school grounds.

"So tell me. What could make you mess up a potion?"

"It's- its-," for some reason, he found it hard to speak. "Lupin?"

Lily frowned. "Did something happen with Remus?"

"Well, he invited me to go with him to the Hogsmeade outing a few days ago..."

"He did?!" Lily looked at him, surprised.

Severus frowned. "You know something. What?"

"Remus told me earlier yesterday that he had asked out the person who gave his Hanahaki," she shrugged. "I wonder if they declined last minute or something."

It was silent for a moment as Severus slowly realized something.

His eyes widened. "White lilies."

The words were mumbled above a whisper.

_But of course, since I was in love with Lily..._

_No... It couldn't be... was... was Lupin... in love with me?_

Lily turned to him, seemingly having thought the same thing. "Do you think-?"

"I have to go, I'll see you later."

Severus then ran off, realizing he made a mistake.

Because if Lupin was in love with him... then he had been wrong.

"Se-Snape!" Remus spotted Severus as he rushed toward him. "We need to talk."

"Indeed we do."

Remus thought Severus was glaring at him, before realizing his gaze was far from that.

"Follow me."

The two walked until Severus found an empty classroom. Once they were inside, he cast a few protection spells and a Lumos.

The air grew silent and awkward, both of them not knowing what to say. Until Remus spoke up.

"Snape, I'd like to apologize."

"Me too." he couldn't bring himself to look Remus in the eye. "I shouldn't have accused you of knowing about the attack."

Remus sighed, sitting down in one of the chairs. "I can't believe they went against the wishes of a dying friend. I thought at least..."

After a minute of not knowing what to do, Severus went to sit next to him. "Bastards."

"And if I stopped being friends with them, who knows what they'll do."

"Would- could we be friends again?"

"Of course."

It was silent for a few moments.

"Does this mean I can call you Sev again?"

"All right," he groaned before asking him the question that had led him here. "Rem... the Hanahaki... you said you fell in love with one of your friends."

"Yeah?"

"So why didn't you go with them to Hogsmeade?"

"I'm surprised you haven't figured out the answer to that yet."

"Huh?"

"I'm glad we're friends again." Remus crossed to the door, giving Severus a sad smile.

Severus blanked out for a few minutes after Remus had left, trying to process everything.

And he didn't manage to find out who Rem was in love with. And if it was him.

But even if he did find out... and his theory was correct... did he love Rem back?

And then he scolded himself for asking such a ridiculous question. It wasn't a question of whether or not he loved him, it was whether it was relevant enough to be brought up.

_It wouldn't get rid of our Hanahaki. And I was probably imagining the whole, 'Remus was in love with me' thing anyway._

At that moment, Severus's lungs chose that particular moment to start heaving. He grunted in pain, clutching his stomach as he made terrible retching noises, more searing pain, more, much more than before, and he knew he wouldn't last until the summer.

He swore he could taste the metallic blood as it accompanied three whole flowers, one after the other.

He shakily stood up, clutching onto the chair for support, before looking down at the red-spotted flowers.

Eyes widening, he took in the sight. The flowers were purple, and a different shape too, and Severus wasn't sure what was happening.

He cautiously picked one up shocked.

He wasn't coughing up wildflowers anymore.

A few seconds or maybe minutes passed before Severus decided to cast a spell. He needed to see it.

A second later, a transparent blue ethereal animal appeared before him, running through the air.

He gasped at the sight of it.

"Okay, bucket list time," Remus was sitting with Severus at the edge of the Black Lake, enjoying the spring sunshine. It was March, and yet, nothing seemed more beautiful than the boy beside him.

It was if Severus had blossomed once Remus had stepped into his life.

"There's nothing I want to do."

Mostly anyway.

"Come on, we only have a few months left. Okay, have you ever been to a party?"

Remus could never fathom the amount of hate that filled Severus's eyes at that word.

"Once. It was horrible."

"Okay, have you ever... conquered a Patronus?"

Severus looked rather proud. "Actually, yes I have."

Remus could remember that day clearly in his mind. "Really? What shape is it?"

Remus scooted closer to Severus, who froze, but didn't pull away. _He really is improving..._

Severus froze, not knowing what to say. _My Patronus used to be a Doe, the same as Lily's. But now..._ "I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because-." His mind attempted to come up with an acceptable excuse. "Fine. Do you want me to tell you? I'll show you."

He then hastily stood up before checking to see if no one was looking. _Good._

Remus could only watch in awe and surprise as Severus cast his Patronus, the animal dancing along with the air in front of them. "It's- it's a wolf!"

"It used to be a doe," he huffed.

Remus feigned surprise. "It- a doe?"

"Same reason I got this wretched disease."

"But now it's changed?"

Severus nodded. A second later he saw another Patronus by his, before gazing at its caster.

The crow and wolf played together for a few moments before they disappeared, fading into the glimmering sunlight.

"It's like we switched Patronuses, isn't it?"

Severus's cheeks grew red, despite trying to hide it as he felt Remus step closer to him. He could just about feel Remus's warm breath tickle his nose. "It is."

"Have you... ever had your first kiss?" Remus whispered. Their hands brushed, feeling like electricity and adding to the butterflies beating loudly in their hearts.

He gently moved a stray strand of inky dark hair out of Severus's face.

Severus closed his eyes on instinct.

"Sev, Remus, there you are!"

Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

Lily walked up to them. "Remus, you're needed on Prefect duty."

"Okay- wait. Why can't you take care of it yourself?"

"You know Sev and I don't have many classes together! Is it bad to want to see your best friend?"

"I'll see you later Sev," Remus murmured into his ear before walking back to the castle.

Severus groaned slightly, biting his lip, "Lily, that was possibly the worst timing ever."

She cocked her head to the side. "Oh?"

Lily rushed to his side as he collapsed onto the ground, breathing heavily and wincing a couple of times as pain washed over his body as if someone was stabbing a knife in his chest. Not going to last until the next summer was an understatement.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes... I-."

Lily helped him up. "I don't like this. Either way, I'm going to lose you. If you take the potion, you'll forget me and if you don't, you'll die!"

"I- I don't think that's exactly true anymore."

"What?"

"My petals- they've changed. Lily- I think the Hanahaki transferred to someone else!"

Her eyes widened as she realized what that meant. "So- you can take the potion!"

"I never said that. But- there's a chance it could be cured another way..."

"What?"

"I'll tell you about it if it works."

Then Severus, shakily, made his way back to the castle, leaning on Lily for some of it.

Later on, that evening, Severus waited for Remus outside of the Great Hall. As soon as he saw his friend, he called out to him.

When Remus spotted Severus, he was concerned.

Severus was more pale than normal, leaning against the wall as if it supported his weight.

He walked over, taking the sick looking boy into his arms. "Are you alright?"

And then, Severus blurted out everything.

"My petals! They've changed!"

"Changed?" Now Remus was interested. "How could they change?"

"I don't know! They were always wildflowers but now they're something different!"

"What are they?"

Severus pushed him away gently, turning away.

As if on cue, Severus coughed up about five or six flowers. Sure enough, it wasn't just yellow anymore, but purple.

"I know what kind of flower that is."

"What?"

"Those are Moonflowers."

Moonflower. MOON-flower. Oh. OH. "This is confusing," Severus muttered to save him from the embarrassing realization. "Wasn't I supposed to die if I fell out of love?"

"Unless at the same time you fell in love with someone else," he murmured, turning to gaze at him.

"And you still never told me who gave you the Hanahaki."

"Do you want me to tell you?"

"I told you."

"Okay..." Remus looked fidgety and nervous. "But before I do, can you please close your eyes?"

"Why?" he asked scathingly, but he complied anyway.

He couldn't see with his eyes shut, but the butterflies in his stomach told him Remus was coming closer. Very close. "What are yo-?"

His question was silenced as he felt a pair of warm lips press against his lightly, covering them with his own. They were soft, warm, and he could taste the faint remains of chocolate. But his mind wasn't focused that...

His heart screamed, running around in circles. Remus was kissing him.

It was almost as if... As if Remus loved him back.

Severus's eyes fluttered open as Remus then took a small step back.

Remus expected Severus to be surprised.

He didn't expect him to smile. And this time, he knew it was genuine.

_It's not as good as I thought... it's better._

Remus was a little taken aback with this uncharacteristic action. But then he smiled too.

__

__

And then, Severus heard two words, two words that confirmed everything.

"It's you."

His eyes widened, shocked even though he thought as much.

Remus continued. "I'm- i'm in with love you."

"Your feelings are reciprocated."

Remus laughed gently, knowing that was Sev's way of saying he loved him too.

He was going to say something else, anything, but then a ringing started in his ears and the next thing he knew, he had collapsed, hitting the floor with a thump and a vaguely searing pain. He opened his eyes for a second, seeing a few drops of red liquid contrast with the stone tiles underneath him as his vision blurred. Blood?

He could also see someone kneeling beside him, shaking him gently, and faintly heard Sev's distressed voice.

_It looks like we were too late..._

"...I'm... sorry..." he found just enough strength to murmur weakly. "I... love you..."

His eyes drifted closed one last time, feeling the rough fabric of the Slytherin's school robe as he felt his consciousness slip.

"Merlin no... No!" Severus was attempting to shake him awake, screaming out in choked sobs. "Rem!"

His eyes were wide in fear as he shakily reached out a hand only to rest upon cold clammy skin. His heart burned, and he couldn't breathe.

A ringing started in his ears and a second later he collapsed too, his vision worsening, and he closed his eyes in a vain attempt to avoid a headache.

_So... this is it then? At least it's with you..._

But what Severus didn't know as his consciousness slipped, was the still faint beating of hearts inside both of them.


	7. The End?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The bit below is to boost the word count, and yes, yes I know that this chapter is days late._

**Last Chapter:**

_The crow and wolf played together before they disappeared, fading into the glimmering sunlight._

_"It's like we switched patronuses isn't it?"_

_"My petals- they've changed. Lily- I think the Hanakaki transferred to someone else!"_

_"Those are Moonflowers."_

_Moonflower. MOON-flower. Oh. OH. "This is confusing," Severus muttered to save himself from the embarrassing realization. "Wasn't I supposed to die if I fell out of love?"_

_"Unless at the same time you fell in love with someone else," Remus murmured turning to gaze at him._

_"And you still never told me who gave you your Hanahaki."_

_"Do you want me to tell you?"_

_"I told you."_

_"It's you. I'm in love with you."_

_"Your feelings are reciprocated."_

_Then they both collapsed and fell unconscious._

**Chapter 7: End?**

Lily almost ran to the Hospital wing as soon as she heard that they were awake. She didn't know why it happened and she was honestly afraid.

Two days ago, two of her best friends were both found unconscious.

She wondered briefly if it had to do with the Hanahaki.

_Is it a side effect?_ They weren't dead yet so that was ruled out.

As soon as Lily rushed into the hospital, she was almost surprised at what she saw.

Potter, Black, and Pettigrew were gathered around Remus's bed. Not surprising.

Remus reaching across his bed to hold Severus's hand? A little surprising.

But Severus not threatening the Marauders to eternal life in hell and silently, although a little irritated, okay with being in the same room as them? And Potter not taunting or humiliating Severus? Riddle her surprised.

"Miss Evans, may I speak with you for a moment."

Lily looked up to see Madam Pomfrey. Nodding, she allowed the matron to take her into her office. Madam Pomfrey motioned for her to sit in the desk chair, and she pulled up a second one.

"Miss Evans, before Mr Lupin and Mr Snape were found, did you notice anything strange?"

Lily shook her head, remembering the promise she made to Sev.

"Both your friends seem to have gotten a serious illness named Hanahaki. Do you understand what that means?"

Again Lily shook her head no, stubbornly not wanting to break a promise to her friend.

"Translated it means 'Flower Disease' in Japanese, hana for 'flower', and haki for 'hakimasu,' 'to throw up'."

"Are they okay?"

"They are fine- for now. They should have come to me when they first started coughing! This is going to be upsetting for you."

Lily looked at the matron, confused.

"There is a potion that can save both of them, but it might already be too late. Mr Lupin and Mr Snape will eventually die. I'm really sorry Miss Evans, but my hands are tied."

Madam Pomfrey headed towards the door.

Lily stared ahead of her as if lost in thought. Or barely keeping it together. She knew her friends were going to eventually die but... 

It hadn't really sunk in until now. But instead of crying, she looked at the matron, frowning. "Wouldn't the potion also take away any memory of that person?"

Madam Pomfrey stared at her.

"I knew about the Hanahaki- Sev begged me to not take him here. He didn't want to take the potion. I had no idea about Remus though."

"Well, you have five minutes with your friends before you leave, got that missy?"

Nodding, Lily followed Madam Pomfrey to Remus and Severus's beds.

"Lily!" they shouted in unison, welcoming her.

Lily stood near Severus's bed, well away from the Marauders. "How are you doing? What happened?"

"I'm fine Lily. I think- I think both our Hanahaki are gone!"

Around their beds you could see Remus beaming and squeezing Severus's hand tightly, Lily smiling, James, torn between being happy for his friend and disappointed about Severus, Peter looked confused as to what was going on, and Black sulked.

"That's great news!" Lily couldn't believe it, both her friends were going to survive, and they were going to live!

"This doesn't change anything Snively." Black glared at the Slytherin.

"Uh, yes this does Padfoot. You made a promise to not hurt Sev in any way until I stop breathing and as you see, I'm still alive."

Potter looked sceptical until Lily shot him a you-better-side-with-us-or-else look. "Moony's right." They would find a hole in the agreement. He wouldn't just stop playing with the evil, slimy, no-good Slytherin just because Moony wanted him too. He always got what he wanted. And he would this time too.

Severus turned to the boy beside him, concerned. "I can take care of myself, Rem."

"Four against one is never fair. And I won't be a bystander anymore!" After his sudden outburst, he looked around. "Sorry, no actually, I'm not. Prongs, Padfoot, Sev is one of the best Slytherin's I've met, and if you want to hurt him then You. Are. The. Lowest!"

All at once, Potter, and Pettigrew shrunk back and silently made to leave. Black stayed behind for a moment.

"You're a traitor. Consider yourself a Slytherin."

With that threat, Black left too.

Severus turned to the honey-haired boy in the bed next to him squeezing his hand to get his attention. "You didn't have to do that."

Remus squeezed back, gazing at him softly. "I love you."

"I love you too..."

A gagging noise can be heard in the distance along with hitting; Lily stalked towards the Gryffindors, her shoe in hand.

_"And that's the story thus far."_

_"Ah, you're a very good storyteller, Love."_

_"Hey, you would make a good teacher, Sev!"_

_"Would not!"_

_"Yeah, you know, you could teach potions or something!"_

_"Never! It's not funny!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Lily was staying a for few weeks during summer with her two friends.**


End file.
